Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

 

five

 

by Patrick Lencioni
Most companies faults prey to five pitfalls of a team, five dysfunctions of a team.
1. Absence of Trust Functional teams trust each other. If you don’t trust others, you cannot produce results. Teams must open up to each other. Trust lies at the core of a functional and cohesive team. Trust says that there’s confidence between team members and that other team members have the common good in mind for the team. When team members are truly comfortable with each other, they do not walk around protecting themselves. The team should find everyone’s weaknesses and strengths on the team. In a team meeting, have each individual take a moment to talk about his/her own strengths and weaknesses – the exercise can be very helpful for the team. It is important to know that each individual has his/her own distinct personality and preferences – it is good to know about each person.
2. Fear of Conflict All great relationships require conflict to grow — marriage, friendship, parenting and business. It is important to decipher interpersonal conflict & fighting from constructive conflict. Healthy conflict is actually a timesaver. You must first acknowledge that the right kind of conflict is healthy and does not need to be avoided. A leader will make dysfunction amongst the team thrive by avoiding constructive conflict.
3. Lack of Commitment Failure to Buy-in Decisions Commitment is a dysfunction of two things: clarity and buy-in. When people feel like they don’t get it (purpose, reason for doing something, etc.), they will not get buy-in or get on board. People need to weigh-in before they can buy-in People know that not everyone has to agree with them, but they should be heard.                           The Five Dysfunctions of a Team                                       Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 1
Everyone’s ideas should be heard and considered so that they will genuinely buy-in. Until each member of the team has placed their thoughts and opinions on the table can they make a wise decision that others will buy into. When a leader fails to consider buy-in from his people, frustration and dysfunction will follow.
4. Avoidance of Accountability People will not hold each other accountable for something if they have not bought into it. Accountability is a buzzword that has lost its power. Team members must be able to call out others on performance and commitment. Keep each other accountable on what has been agreed upon. The discomfort of telling someone something will cause many to avoid it for personal comfort. A team must respect each other enough to keep each other accountable.
5. Inattention to Results The tendency is usually to care about everything else except for the good of the team as a whole. We should put our own ego or priorities to the side for that of the team. Every person must know the most important things (priorities, goals, tasks, etc.) that need to be done in order to work on them. Is it customer service, personal revenue, etc.? What is the overarching goal?
Are you making the team better making a dysfunctional? Successful teams overcome the dysfunctions.

Tribes

tribes
by Seth Godin
– Winners never quit and quitters never win – this is bad advice. Winners quit all the
time, but they have learned when the right time to quit is.
– With the wrong stuff learn to quit and with the right stuff learn to stick.
– Strategic quitting is the key to successful businesses. Many people do just the
opposite, they quit when they need to stay and stay when they need to quit.
1 Tribes by Set Godin Book Summary

 

The Difference Maker

maker

 

 

by John Maxwell
– A motivational speaker makes you feel good, but the next day you don’t know what to do; a motivational teacher makes you feel good but the next day you know what to do. – Attitude is not everything, but it is the difference maker. – Attitude is an inward feeling shown by outward behavior. People always try to mask the way they feel on the inside but attitude always wiggles it’s way out. – There’s not a single part of your life that is not affected by your attitude and your future will be affected by your attitude as well. – Your attitude comes from: 1. Your attitude comes from who you are 2. Your attitude comes from your environment – how you grew up, who you’re around, etc. divorce, deaths, poverty, etc. 3. Your attitude is an expression of others, how you feel. Things that were said to you earlier in life you are reacting to them as a result. 4. Your attitude comes from your self image, how you see yourself. It’s hard to see anything in the world positive if you see yourself as negative. 5. Your attitude comes from your life experience. 6. Your attitude is affected by those you’re around, peers. You become like the people that you hang around with. You usually do not change the people that you’re around, acting like them. You become negative, bitter, complainer, etc. because that is how the people around you are. 7. Your attitude comes from your beliefs, what you think. Every thought that you have shaped your life. 8. Your attitude comes from your choices, what you do. Many people want to change life, and the things around them but the first person that needs to be changed is yourself. – To change your life you must take responsibility for what you do with your attitude. – Your attitude can be the difference maker, but it is not the only thing needed to be a success. If someone has good skills and an ok attitude and someone else has a great attitude but no skills, the person with more skills will get the job. A great attitude alone will not get you the job.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 1
4/4/16
1. Your attitude cannot substitute for competence. If you think you could do something, that is confidence; if you know how to do something that is competence. The two are different. 2. A great attitude can help you personally, make you happy, make you more content and enjoy life, but but it cannot help your position. 3. Your attitude cannot substitute for experience. 4. Your attitude cannot substitute for personal growth. Quit waiting for the tide to come begin being the man you should be. Nothing can substitute for personal learning.
– Your attitude will not stay good automatically.  Attitude will not fix everything, you must work at it. – Attitude is the difference maker, but you cannot buy attitude. – I cannot choose what happens to me but I can choose what happens in me. – Some things are beyond my control, but I can choose to respond the right way. – Gratitude to make the difference in your approach to life. Two men look through prison bars, one saw mud and the others other saw stars. – The happiest people in life do not have everything, but they do make the best of everything. – Who we are determines how we see other people – In life, obstacles are inevitable, so how are we going to handle them? Make the best of things. The path you choose depends on your attitude. – Every challenge is an opportunity and every opportunity has a challenge. – Your attitude has profound influence on how you see life and the way you live it. – What negative thoughts consistently control your mind? You cannot change your attitude for the better until you recognize what is impacting  your attitude for the worse. – The desire to change is a key to growth in life. – Change is possible but only if you want it bad enough. – If you want to change your attitude, start with the change of behavior. Change your habits and you will change your attitude.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 2
4/4/16
Discouragement – If you let discouragement inside of you, it will conquer you from the inside out. – Everyone has moments of discouragement, but the question is if you’re going to give up or get up. – When discouragement comes there are splatters and bouncers: splatters are those that fall and splat, staying on the bottom. Bouncers are those that when they fall jump back up. Your attitude will help you determine if you’re going to be a splatter or a bouncer. – Here are five attitudes to help you bounce back up with discouragement: 1. Get back up. You cannot solve your problems by ignoring them, but you cannot solve them by being fixated on them either. When you recognize the problem, begin focusing on the solution. 2. See the right people. Some people just lift you up, so get around the right people that will lift you up and give you hope. Everyone you come in contact with is in need of a lifter, you can lift them up and help them. 3. Say the right words. One of the big problems in discouragement is self talk, negative thinking. One of the biggest problems in life when it comes to discouragement is that we listen to ourselves instead of talk to ourselves. It’s not what happens to me or what happened that matters the most. This too shall pass. 4. Have the right expectations. Have to remain flexible and not expect for everything to go perfectly. Focus on what you can achieve not what you cannot achieve. 5. Make the right decisions. Instead of being held captive by these discouraging thoughts and times, decide to move forward.
Change – It’s hard for everyone. Everyone wants to move forward, but we almost always resist change.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 3
4/4/16
– Why people resist change: 1. People resist change because of what it may do to them personally. 2. People resist change because of fear of the unknown. 3. People resist change because the timing might be wrong. Find out if others are on board. Is the leadership capable of making this change? Are there other benefits involved in this change? 4. People resist change because it feels awkward. When was the last time you did something that felt awkward? 5. People resist change because of tradition. People think that just because something is a tradition that it must be right, but that is not always so. – Without change there could be no progress. – Make a commitment to pay the price for change. – Things must change within you before the change without (outside of) you. – Decide that there are some things not worth changing. What are the things that you’re willing to live and die for, the non-negotiables. – It’s never too late to change.
Problems – Problems are inescapable. All of us have problems. Your perspective about the problems make the difference. Problems can make you bitter or better. – The size of the person is more important than the size of the problem. – Problems responded to correctly can actually advance us forward. – Anticipate problems. • A good leader does not see problems as abnormal but as something normal that happens in life. • A problem not anticipated is a problem; a problem anticipated is only an opportunity. – Face the problem. • Most people try to flee from the problem, run from it. Others try to forget the problem, just ignore it. Others try to fight the problem but it does not go away. But we must face the problem so we can find a solution.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 4
4/4/16
– Evaluate the problem. – Embrace the problem. • Each problem is an opportunity. Problems are wake up calls for opportunity. • Problems will cause us to use our creativity and all that we have. – Think of people who have bigger problems. When we have a friend who loses a loved one, all of our problems seem so petty. – List out all of the ways that can be used to solve the problem. There’s a solution to every problem whether we know it or not. – Determine the best three ways to solve the problem. Good thinkers always have more than one way to solve a problem. It is a mistake if we think that there’s only one solution to a problem. – Refocus on the mission and move on. When you make a mistake, don’t fight it or justify it, just admit it and refocus on the mission. – A problem solved is a springboard for success.
Fear. – Even the first man Adam had fear when he heard God’s voice and hid from him. Fear is a part of human nature. – Here are some negative things the fear can do in a persons life: 1. Fear breeds more fear. Most things will not come to pass, but we live in fear that they will. 2. Fear causes inaction. Fear is like a warning sign that makes us afraid of a dog that could not even hurt us. Fear can create a debilitating cycle. Fear makes us afraid of trying something that could help us. If we give into fear we will never know what could happen. We cannot allow fear to paralyze us. If we are too afraid of failure, we will probably never win. 3. Fear weakens us. We could not allow fear to vaster us and our strengths. Fear makes the wolf bigger than he really is. Sometimes fear makes us afraid of things that could not even really hurt us. Fear can push in the wrong direction by causing you to do something. 4. Fear keeps us from showing our potential. One of the greatest things we can do is be afraid of what could happen to us. People who are ruled by fear play it safe and that is dangerous. – Fear can be overcome by anyone. Yard few steps to overcome fear:
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 5
4/4/16 1. Admit your fears. You cannot overcome your fears unless you admit that they exist. 2. Discover the source of your fear. Most people’s fears are based more on feeling than they are on facts. 3. Realize how fears can limit you. Studies have shown that 95% of our fears are baseless. The truth is that life is dangerous so just decide to live it to the fullest. 4. Accept normal fear as the price of progress. Do not let fear rule you rather except it as the price for becoming better or learning more. Don’t let fear stop you from taking steps in the right direction. The sting of the bee will stop you from getting the sweet honey from the honeycomb. 5. Convert fear into fire. Everyone feels the same out of fear, but a warrior will turn that fear into fire and use it. Afraid of poverty, use it to have a strong worth ethic. Afraid of rejection, use it to learn to relate better. 6. Focus on things that you can control. Many things you cannot control in life, but focus on the things that you can. There’s a great difference between being worried and being concerned. A worried person sees the problem does nothing, a concerned person sees the problem and finds a solution. 7. Give today your attention, not yesterday or tomorrow. Most of our attention is given to what has passed or what will happen, but focus on today. Worrying about our past is a waste of time. If you have done the best that you can do, there’s no use worrying about it because nothing can change it. Do not focus just on the destination, enjoy the journey. Do all within your power to joy work here and now, you cannot change the past or the future. 8. Feed the right emotion and starve the wrong one. Fear and faith are both present in our lives but the emotion that you feed will be the one that dominates. Focus on your faith and feed it, starve your fears and do not waste time thinking about it. Do the thing that you think that you cannot.
Failure. – There are three types of people in this world, the wills, the won’ts and can’ts. – Don’t be afraid to take a risk. Life is full of rest. – Everyone experiences failure, but we do not have to let us keep it keep us down. – Failure does not have to keep you down. Do not let failure make you scared of trying again. – Change your vocabulary. 2 dangerous words in English vocabulary: ”if only”. – You may think that the odds are stacked against you but so what, every person who has achieved anything had the odds stacked against him/her.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush 6
4/4/16
– Let failure mark you to success. – Hold onto your sense of humor. Don’t take your mistakes too seriously, it is not a matter of life or death. – Learn from your mistakes. You can learn more from your failures than your successes. Sometimes you win sometimes you learn, that’s the mark of a good attitude. – Don’t lose your perspective. Failure is like success, it’s a day-to-day process. It is how you deal with life along the way, it is not a one-time event. – Don’t become too familiar with failure. – Make failure a gauge for growth. – Never give up. If you give up, you will never know how close you were to success. Get back up. If you have experienced failure, you’re in a better position to succeed than those who have not failed. So if you feel a lot, celebrate because as long as you do not give up you’re in a good place. – Never forget the power of choice, you are the person who decides your attitude. – Everyone has a good attitude when things are going well, but you must decide to have a good attitude at every stage of life.
The Difference Maker                                         Book Summary by Jeffr

The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage

 

the bestby Jim Daily
This is a compilation of different author’s opinions on marriage. It was put together by Focus on the Family.
An open heart is of big importance for a good marriage. The heart of spouse must be open and will only open up when spouse feels safe. True intimacy is open hearts. Recognize your spouse’s value. Write down a list of the reasons why you value your spouse, and then express it to your spouse. Write a list of “I love you because…” A successful marriage requires you to fall in love with the same person over and over again.
1. Keep your Commitment to your Commitment — Ken Blanchard Years from now you should love your spouse more than you do now. Remember your commitment. Do you want your relationship to work? It’s a commitment if so. Marriage works when you have two “yes’” to that commitment. You should be able to write down “What I love about you is…” and “Why I choose to spend the rest of my life with you is…”
2. Make Love a Verb — Andy Stanly Falling in love is easy but staying in love is hard. When the going gets tough many just go. We treat love like a noun, something that happened, not is happening. Love is not a one time thing. It takes a plan. Falling in love requires only a heart beat but staying in love requires a commitment. We know how to fall in love but most do not know how to stay in love. Key to staying in love is respect, respect, respect. We are to guard our hearts (Prov. 4:23) Think before you speak. Pay close attention to your heart. We have fairy tale beliefs about marriage. Believe the best, don’t think the worse. Nothing speaks more of our Christian life like our marriage                          The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 1
3. My Heavenly Father-in-law — Gary Thomas Your wife isn’t just your wife, she is God’s daughter. Your marriage isn’t just about you, it’s about God. You can’t treat a girl wrong and expect a father to be good with that. I Peter 3:7 If someone was treating your kids bad, you wouldn’t be happy taking to that person. God wants His children to be loved We love because He first loved us. Is how you treated your spouse last week the way you would want someone to treat your child?
4. Practice non-random Acts of Kindness — Paul & Teri Reisser All of us are selfish creatures by nature and rather to be served than serve. Do small things to show love, whether making bed, changing toilet paper roll, making the coffee, etc. be intentional about serving your spouse.
5. Lighten up and Laugh — Ted Cunningham Laughter is a beautiful thing. You can’t stay mad at someone who makes you laugh and you can’t hate someone with whom you laugh. God wants you to enjoy marriage. Life is a grime. Age, money or nothing else will get us out of the grime. Death is the only thing that ends the grime. But in the midst of the grime, we are to enjoy life. We can’t get out of the grime but we can choose joy during life. Your wife was not put in your life to make life miserable, it can be enjoyable. Proverbs 17:22. Go and enjoy life with your spouse.
6. Be your Partner’s Best Friend — Les & Leslie Parrot It’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that kills a marriage. 70% of happiness in marriage could be attributed to friendship in marriage. Friends choose to serve each other. Study what makes your spouse laugh. Add more laughter to your relationship. Good friends protect each other. We all have bad moments but good friends have the other’s back.
The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 2
We shouldn’t take for granted the friendship of our spouse.
7. Communicate how much your Spouse Means to You — H.B. London Never go to bed mad at each other. Deal with your issues as they happen or they’ll only get worse. Never assume Most don’t know how to say what needs to be said. We fail to express our love & we take each other for granted. Never, never stop listening Affairs occur when a spouse doesn’t fulfill the needs of the other. Don’t avoid the real issues. Hostility and criticism can kill your spouse’s love. Don’t make the other feel cheap or useless. Don’t give up It takes a lifetime of commitment. Pray for your spouse. Love that communicates is love that doesn’t fail.
8. Stop, Drop and Roll — Dewey Wilson What people see on the outside is not always what is on the inside. Your marriage didn’t go south over night, but you can still turn it around. Before change occurs, it must make sense. A. Stop — when you think of old thoughts or something that will only cause problems, stop!  2 Cor. 10:4 — we have power to stop those thoughts. B. Drop — to your knees in prayer asking God to help. C. Roll — change the negative thoughts, words or actions into positive ones. Become a student of your spouse. Your attitude will determine your response. God wants to do a work in you so let him.
9. The Art of Affirmation — Joni Eareckson Tada The Bible teaches that the tongue has incredible power. With your tongue, you can pull down or be the best cheerleader. Commend your spouse when you see the good in them. Practice affirmation. Those words are to your spouse what water is to your flowerbeds. Write a note of encouragement or say something but your words can change the  countenance and heart of your spouse.
The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 3
10. Ask Older Couples what Works for Them — Bill & Pam Farrel Get real advice by real people. Conflict is normal for couples. Forgive quickly. Three is better than two, Jesus can make you have a great marriage. Seek out marriage by older and experienced, good people.
11. Nine Words that have Helped us Stay Married — Bob Waliszewski Determine there are certain things that you won’t say in marriage — divorce Failed expectations — life is not only about you Differing view points — about little silly things The marital reset button — walk or take time to breathe but don’t leave each other. What works for us — decide that you will not You’re not always right. Don’t keep score Avoid the silent treatment Stay away from words like “always” and “never” Don’t threaten your spouse with divorce or separation.
12. Grow as a Couple and as Individuals — Frank Pastore The measure of a man’s ministry is his marriage. God doesn’t call you to be a single servant rather to work together as a couple. You need friends that can help enrich your life and marriage. We need couples that we can learn from and fellowship with.
13. Putting Sex on the Calendar — Jill Savage Plan and calendar sex and write it down in code. Doesn’t always have to be spontaneous. It eliminates the asking or begging for sex. It increases desire. The brain is the largest sexual component. It increases anticipation. We can plan time together. It allows for planning. It helps couples prepare both mentally and physically. It helps build trust. While sex is good spontaneously, putting it on the calendar works as well.
The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 4
14. Attitude is a Choice — Stormie Omartian The Holy Spirit doesn’t make us have fruit, we have to choose to have fruit. We choose our attitude. You can decide not to be bitter, not get upset, etc.
15. Deliberately Seek the Lord – Phil & Heather Joel Is the form of Christianity we live what it should be? Decide to read the Bible and get close to the Lord. As you get close to the Lord, you can and will grow in marriage. Prayer changes everything. Oneness in marriage with God is a decision and one that will change you and your marriage. It is the key. As a man’s relationship is with God, so will the marriage be.
16. Believe your Spouse wants your Best – Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn When you grasp that your spouse wants the best for you will change your marriage. If you think your spouse wants to hurt you, you will have a bad marriage. Believing spouse wants the best for you will not only solve many problems but will also avoid many problems. What do you assume about your spouse? Replace your thoughts with positive ones. What can be a positive reason that you’re spouse did what he/she did? Take your thoughts captive. Decide and assume that your spouse wants the best for you. Learn the truth about your spouse. Let your understanding change your marriage.
17. The Power of Taking a Time-Out – Michael & Amy Smalley Learn to react instead of respond. Reacting is launching out immediately upon our emotions; responding is thinking before you take action. James 1:19-20 Taking a timeout is not just for kids. When you get upset, you should take a time out. Avoiding something is just walking away from it, but taking a timeout is getting away from each other to think through it and then return back later to discuss it.
The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Review by Jeffrey Bush 5
When you get alone and pray about it, the Holy Spirit may reveal to you that your attitude or actions are not pleasing to Him.
18. The Convicting Question that Changed our Marriage – Lee Strobel Ask yourself the question, how would you like to be married to you? Willpower does not change a man and time does not change man, only Christ changes men. Matthew 7:1 – Look at your own faults instead of judging your spouse. Do not be conflict avoiders, become conflict facers. Learn to listen – James 1:19
The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage Book Revie

Face to Face

Deuteronomy 34:10

 

“And there rose not a prophet since in Israel like unto Moses, whom the Lord new face to face”

There are so many things that could be said of Moses (he was a good leader, a man of faith, and the meekest man on the earth), but I believe this is probably one of the greatest things you could say about Moses: “whom the Lord new face to face”.

Back in Exodus 33:11, it mentioned one of the times that Moses spoke to God face to face. What a testimony, what a privilege and what a blessing. Moses spoke to God for real. And as children of God, we have that privilege and opportunity. We can go into the throne room and boldly speak to God because of what Jesus did for us. There is nothing between, there is no rank accepted or ignored, and absolutely anyone covered by the blood of Jesus can speak to God. May I speak to God and know God more every day.