7 Ways to be Her Hero

74
by Doug Fields
– Any guy can fall in love, but it takes something special to stay in love.
– Ecclesiastes 2:11 — chasing the wind. A man may not be having an affair with
another woman but if he is in love with this laptop, job, phone and technology, he is
chasing the wind and his marriage will never get better.
– There’s only one thing that God says that a man is to “be one” with and that is not his
job, career, etc., it’s his wife. If a man is chasing anything else besides his wife, he’s
chasing the wind.
– Remember the days when you were dating and you chased your wife and always
wanted to be with her, give her gifts, put on cologne, act romantic, etc.? Well we have
to return to those days at chase our wives again.
– Marriage was not mans idea at all, it was God’s idea. Sex was created by God. The
Bible is not at all quiet about sex.
– One heart. In marriage, when you wound 1 heart, you are really wounding 2 — hers
and yours. Imagine a rifle in which the barrel doubles back around. That is exactly
what is happening to our relationships when we try to hurt our wives weather verbally,
emotionally, etc.
– Your responsibility as a husband is to identify what baggage may have in her life
(stress, anger, problems, etc.) and help her remove it.
– Don’t just help your wife because you want more sex, help her because she has the
other half of your heart.
1. Don’t Say Everything you Think.
– Making hurtful or mean spirited comments will not help anything.
– It may be hard to not say things that you’re thinking, but it is even harder when
you are tired, discouraged, frustrated, etc.
1 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Proverbs 17:28 — “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and
he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”
– Proverbs 10:19 — “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that
refraineth his lips is wise.”
– It does not have to be verbal communication that could harm our wives –
shrugging shoulders, moving head, rolling eyes, etc.
– Proverbs 20:3
– Proverbs 21:23 – Hold your tongue. You can save a lot of grief by simply holding
your tongue and not saying anything.
– Almost anything can be said and handled if you’ll just state it in a genuinely,
loving way and in a timely sort.
– You do not have to make a big deal out of every little thing.
2. Say what is Powerful.
– Sadly we say what we should not say do not say what we should say.
– Destructive words destroy marriages and healthy words build marriages.
– A man’s number one need may be sex, but a woman’s number one need is
unconditional love. Vocalizing your love with words is so important.
– Think of your words like little gifts rolling out of your mouth – we might not be the
best with buying gifts, but using the right words are gifts.
– The right words at the right time in the right way go right to your wife’s spirit.
– Your wife needs affirmation and it is within your power to give it to her.
– If you think something positive, say it.
– Set a reminder if you have to, to remind you to say something nice to your wife
every day, until it becomes a habit.
– Text your wife whenever you think about her. Remember that a compliment does
not only have to be verbal.
2 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– When you have a thought, write it down – it doesn’t have to be a long letter, just
write a little note and tell her what you’re thinking. Put it in her car, put it in her
drawer, put it in the fridge or wherever she will see it.
– Your wife must know that she is the only one who can fulfill your physical love.
– Don’t give up, stay in the battle. No one else can fulfill your physical but your wife
and if you do not realize this, you will think that masturbation, or pornography or
an affair will be ok.
3. Don’t Say Anything – Learn to be a World-Class Listener.
– You might not think that your communication with your wife is that important, but
she does think it is. In fact, becoming a good listener could be the reason that
you’re not having as much sex.
– To many women, a good listener is sexy.
– Listening is like foreplay for a woman.
– Men like to dominate so therefore we do the talking and never listen – big
mistake.
– No one is interested in being in a relationship with a world-class talker.
– James 1:19 — “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear,
slow to speak, slow to wrath”
– Your body language speaks just as loud, if not louder, than your verbal language.
So make sure when you’re listening, that you do not appear that you don’t want
to be there or that you’re disinterested.
– You may think that you are a great listener, but if she does not think that then it
really does not matter. You better make sure that it comes across that she
believes you are a good listener.
4. Go Big with Small Things.
– It’s the small things that can make a marriage better – not the big leaps and
changes.
3 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Getting off by just 1° later down the road could make it where you are on totally
separate solar systems.
– Serving your wife at the very small areas will add up and pay off.
– The big acts that we think about like buying her a car, taking her on a trip, etc.,
do not require us to serve her, but the little things do. Turning off the light for her,
getting her a drink, helping her out with something, etc. are all small things but
very key.
– You can put your marriage back on course if you will learn to master the little
things.
– Doing the small things, just once a day, will become a habit and your marriage
will improve.
– You will be more like Jesus when you serve. He did not come to this world to be
served but to serve.
– Serve her like you would serve Jesus.
– If you asked yourself on your way home from work what it would look like to
serve your wife and serve Jesus, what would that look like when you got home…
What could you do for her?
5. Be Liberal with Touch but not That Way.
– There is such a thing called touch that is not sexual.
– There is such a thing called skin hunger, being deprived of touch.
– Hug your wife without having a sexual agenda.
– A man who provides his wife with nonsexual touch will usually end up getting
more sex than the husband who does not give nonsexual touch.
– Science proves to us that if a baby does not get enough touch in the first couple
of years of their life, negative consequences could happen.
– Your wife needs your touch – a kiss on the cheek, a massage, hand on shoulder,
holding hands, touching her arm, etc.
4 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– If your wife’s skin hunger is being starved, than both your sex life and marriage
will be affected by it.
– Pornography is artificial sex – it’s like filling yourself with junk food when God has
a banquet awaiting you.
– If you will begin to fulfill your wife’s skin hunger, you will not regret it.
6. Put your Pride Aside. – God wants to clean up our heart, change things and make us like to His image.
– The hardest thing to get rid of and cleanup is our pride.
– Pride causes us to blame and destroys more marriages than infidelity.
– Pride leads to disgrace – Proverbs 11:2
– Pride destroys – Proverbs 29:23
– When we allow God to circumcise the pride out of our life, it can be painful but
will save our marriage.
– Humility has nothing to do with weakness. Humility is actually strength to
recognize that God is God.
– Humility is strong enough to keep its mouth shut. Humility will build up your wife
with words instead of eating the words itself. Humility is willing to ask questions.
Humility is willing to listen without having to rush back. Humility is willing to say I
am sorry and I was wrong.
– Recognize your mistakes, ask forgiveness for them, remove them and forget
them.
7. Shepherd your Wife’s Heart. – We must learn to shepherd our own hearts and then that of our wife’s.
– A shepherd watches his flock, cares for them and watches out for bad wolves.
– We need to learn to shepherd our wife’s heart and that is not easy, it will take
time.
5 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– She is more than worthy of the effort, after all that is why I married her.
– Her heart is so much more tender and sensitive than mine.
– Shepherd her heart because God wants to see her blossom through you helping
her.
– To shepherd her heart, it requires diligence and attention.
– Tell her often who she is. Beliefs shape our behavior. If we were ever told that we
are good for nothing, we begin to believe it and it hurt us. If we don’t think we are
anything, we will begin to believe a lie and not take care of ourselves. And
women are some of the most lied to people on this planet – they are told that
they have to be skinny, have high cheekbones, etc. The message is often loud
and clear that a woman does not measure up. She must be told and reminded
who she is.
– Tell her daily that you love her, that she is special, that you’re happy to be
married to her, etc.
– Let her know that she is excepted and loved by you.
– She should be accepted to you as you are to Jesus. She should be able to look
into your eyes and know that she has been accepted by you.
– A husband can form his wife’s self image for the positive by always affirming her
and telling her how special she is.
– A man can never be a good groom to his wife until he has been a good bride to
Jesus.
– Your intimacy with Jesus will affect your relationship with your wife.
– Women need to know that they are beautiful, but they need to know about their
heart as well – tell her how you love her more than just her physical beauty.
– Be the man that she can respect. Get help and stay away from pornography.
– Be her friend. How about some walks together or some kind of activities both of
you can do together. Time to bring friendship back into the relationship.
– Your wife may not treat you the way you think you should be treated even if you
shepherd her heart, but shepherd her heart with the right motive and after time
you will be greatly rewarded.
6 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– There’s no joy or no job as great as shepherding our wives.
Love:
– Love her as Christ loved the church – Ephesians 5:25
– We are to think of our wives before we think of ourselves.
– Any hero understands that sacrifices need it the most married man will sacrifice for
their wife and children. But sacrifice is not the only thing that is needed, we cannot
keep silent. You must speak up and fix things and marriage. Loving your wife as
Christ loved the church does not mean silence, it means getting things right. Get
professional counseling if that’s what’s needed. If you do not speak up, you will one
day regret it.
Time:
– Everyone is busy (raising children, keeping a job, upkeep of the house, etc.) but the
problem with a busy life is that it makes for a busy marriage… which can lead to a
empty marriage.
– Busyness does not kill a marriage, but it weakens you and as a result you can kill
your marriage.
– Some of us are so over-connected with others (via social media), that we are under-
connected with the ones we love the most (actually communicating with them).
– You must pause and take the time. If you are always busy, there will never be enough
time and you will never come around to it.
– Don’t be a drive-by husband, actually take time for and to be with each other.
– Hurry runs but love walks.
– You could be so much in a hurry and rush through life that you never take the time to
stop and ask each other how you’re doing and how you can improve your marriage.
7 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Your wife and marriage are worth the effort, so chase her.
– Experience one with your wife why is God’s goal in your marriage.
– Becoming a good husband is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.
8 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields

10% Happier

23
by Dan Harris
– The voice in our head can become very annoying. Many people may not even realize
they have a voice in their head. We are not talking about hearing voices, we are
talking about the narrator in our head, that intimate chatter from the time we open our
eyes in the morning.
– Our happiness, shyness, skills, etc. is not determined at birth like many think, they are
learned and acquired skills.
– It is possible to be depressed without even realizing it since your emotions have been
cut off.
– Let the present moment be your friend instead of your enemy. Let it be what it is
instead of an obstacle that you must overcome.
– Mindfulness is the ability to recognize what’s going on while still thinking
– RAIN
Recognize
Allow
Investigate (why is it happening)
Noting
– Respond don’t react
– We believe the lie that we’ll be happy when we finish or do the next thing.
– Do only one thing at a time
– Do something that relaxes and distracts you.
– A research showed that compassionate people are more content and happier than
others.
1 10% Happier by Dan Harris Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Complaining will make you feel bad.
– When you are mindful of others you will be more sensitive to others.
– Not letting your mind get locked in negativity will greatly better you.
– Don’t think everyone is out to get you.
– Humility prevents humiliation.
– Don’t be attached to results.
– Respond instead of react to your urges.
– There’s no point in being unhappy about things that you cannot change… or about
things you can change.
– Don’t force it.
– Be firm but be kind.
– Your happiness can be self generated.
2 10% Happier by Dan Harris

The 10 X Rule

10x
by Grant Cardone
– It takes the same amount of energy to have a great marriage as it does to have an
average marriage. It take the same amount of energy to make $10 million as it does
to make $10,000.
– If you will try 10 times as hard, do 10 times as much and put forth 10 times the effort,
you will outdo everyone.
– You have to take it to another level to get to the next level.
– The people who work successful in any area are people who continue even after they
have reached an achievement. A good marriage does not maintain itself, it has to be
worked on… And so does every other area of life.
– You must set goals that are 10 times what you want and then work 10 times as hard
to achieve those goals.
– You must never do what others do, you have to do what others do not do. Take action
and do 10 times as much, working 10 times as hard as anyone else.
– A bad concept is thinking that you will get discouraged if you set too high of goals, but
too often we set low goals and reach them instead of setting super high goals and not
reaching them.
– We are told not to set unrealistic goals, but wouldn’t it be better to come short on a 10
times goal than it would be to not set a goal? If you set high goals, you will put more
effort into them than if you set low goals.
– It’s not enough to just have occupied territory, you must keep the territory.
– The right acts done in the right degree, persisting overtime, will get the job done.
– Assume that every project that you’re going to do will take more time, more effort and
more people to accomplish than you first plan.
– Everything will be more difficult and require more effort than you think – this is not to
discourage but so that you’ll plan. Work 10 times as hard in every area and you will
get it accomplished.
1 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Approach every situation with a in-it-to-win-it mentality.
– No one acquires anything by failure.
– You do not need to be old to die – many people in their 20s, they just give up in life
and accomplish nothing, they live without a purpose, focus and aim in life.
– You must consider your duty to live up to your full potential, not just get by. Success
must not be an alternative or option, it must be an obligation and vital in your life.
– Most look at successful people & think they are just lucky, but they have worked hard
to get there and then their success breeds more success. Get in a position of success
and more success will be like an air around you.
– The harder you work, the more you’ll get. Plan on success and then work for it. You
become a magnet for success when you see it as your duty.
– There is no such thing as overnight success. Success always comes as a result of
beforehand effort.
– Success is something that people make. There’s no shortage on the amount of
success that you can have, it is not in a low supply.
– Success, money, jobs and opportunities are not in a dearth, they are out there in
abundance if you will go after them.
– Success has no limits, is not short supply or given only to a handful, it’s for anybody
that wants to work for it.
– There is no shortage of success, but there is a shortage of determination and work to
attain success.
– People who succeed take big actions, which means they take big responsibilities,
which means they don’t make excuses.
– Making excuses is thinking negative.
– Victims always have bad things happen to them and it’s never their fault. Successful
people have good things happen to them as a result of the responsibility that they
take.
– Nothing happens to you, it happens because of you.
– You can either do nothing, retreat, do very little (normal levels) or take massive action.
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• 1. Doing nothing – just what it says, not learning, growing, not taking action. This
requires no work or no action. Boredom, lethargic, lazy, etc. it actually takes energy
to do nothing and try not to move forward.
• 2. Retreat – take action in reverse. They go backwards because they are scared, “I
don’t want anything bad to happen”. Retreating is not normal behavior, usually
comes from being told to do it over and over and then becomes a survival instinct.
• 3. Average, normal, very little – this is what the majority do, this is why we have
largest part of the population being middle class (not financial but the way they
think). The goal is average; average bill, average marriage, average finances,
average life. The definition of average means less extraordinary. Average is nothing
more than retreating from what you’re capable of. Average is the most dangerous
area to be in. You’re capable of so much more.
• 4. Massive action – no one was born into average just to do nothing, we were born
into massive action. Look at children, always doing something and always taking
action… and until adults tells them to take it down several levels, they do not know
that they are supposed to be boring, average and do very little. People don’t know
you, you are in obscurity, but best of action will change and results will happen.
Successful people do not see massive action as a problem, they see it as normal.
People are going to think that you have went to far, are crazy and have gone nuts
when you begin taking massive action. Massive action cannot hurt you, it will only
help you.
– If you approach every day as a new opportunity and work hard, you will outdo
everyone else.
– Average is a failing formula.
– The average worker reads less than one book a year and works 37.5 hours a week.
– Reason people fail in goals because they do not put goals high enough.
– Your goals change and life goes on, so keep writing them down and keep setting
goals. Don’t set goals only once a year when it’s resolution time, set goals constantly.
– People say be reasonable or realistic, but that’s only means to keep your goals
according to everyone else’s opinion. Shoot high and work hard.
– There is no shortage of success. Set high goals. Setting high goals will require hard
work.
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– Don’t compare or be a normal thinker, be a forward thinker – Steve Jobs would have
never invented the iPad if he was comparing to others. All successful people think
about what they can do instead of comparing to what others are doing.
– Never make it your goal to compete but to dominate the sector that you are working
at. Competition is for sissies, domination is what you want.
– Set the bar, don’t go with what everyone else does. Be ahead of everyone else, don’t
just go with the flow.
– Do what other people will not do. Do you want your competition is not willing to do or
is not doing, this will give you an unfair advantage. Find what people cannot do or will
not do.
– You may have a money shortage, but if you are more creative, work harder and study
more, you will pass everyone.
– Work hard; first you will get no attention, than you get a complaint (which is attention)
than you get admiration (which is positive attention).
– So when you work hard, you will first get complaints, then criticism, then haters, then
admiration.
– Do what people will not do, go where they will not go, think and take actions in 10 X
quantities that others are not willing to take or cannot even comprehend.
– Quit thinking about others and stop competing, you want domination not competition.
– You must have obsession to follow through with your goals. You have to stay
encouraged every day or you will not get it done. If you do not become obsessed with
your idea or goals, you will not get it accomplished.
– Make your dreams, goals and ambitions an obsession.
– The ability to be obsessed is not a disease, it is a gift.
– Most of society teaches against the all-in mentality because we want to play it safe,
we want to be conservative. There are certain things in this world that have limits, but
you do not have limits on yourself – give all of your energy, time, creativity and effort
and get it done.
– You will never hit it out of the park if you don’t swing.
– We have all heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare has the ability and
runs fast but then slows down to rest. The tortoise keeps flooding on and ends up
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winning. The story teaches us just to keep going, but not worry about working hard
and running fast. But what if there was a third character who had the speed of a hare
and the determination of a tortoise – the whole story would be changed.
– Overcommit your creativity, resources, time and persistence in every area.
– Don’t look to avoid problems, look to solve them. Problems will come when you
overcommit, but just find a solution for them.
– Instead of following the pack, lead the pack. Get out there and work hard.
– I would rather die pushing forward than die retreating backwards.
– Your fire has to continue burning hot, which means you must continue stoking the fire,
you must continue with more action than everyone else.
– Success appears to bless those that give it most action than most attention. Like a
garden, you must continue working on it (trimming, hedging, watering, weeding, etc.).
– Build a fire so big and so hot that your competition and everyone else will want to
come sit at the fire to get warmed up.
– Don’t be afraid of fear, use it as a green light signaling to you what you should do.
– Starve your fear from its favorite food, which is time. Don’t give any time to fear.
– The time to act is now, don’t wait more time which will allow fear to grow. Nothing
happens without action.
– Countless individuals fail all of the time because they wait too long to write the email,
make the call or act upon something and someone else gets it. Waiting for more time
just feeds your fear.
– Everyone faces fear, but what we do with that fear determines who we are.
– Use the fear to get things done, don’t wait and give it time or you will be more afraid
and lose. No one is fearless, but successful people just act upon it instead of giving
their fear more time.
– The only way to increase time is do more with the amount of time than you have.
– The 10 X rule gives you more time because you are more than doubling your efforts
with the time you have.
– Log what you do throughout the day and you will be able to cut out time wasting
because you see where you are unprofitable.
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– When you succeed, criticism is not far behind.
– If you make a big enough splash, you will attract criticism.
– Laying low or flying under the radar to avoid attention probably means that you are
holding yourself back in areas.
– The only way to handle criticism is to foresee it as an element to your journey of
success.
– Criticism proceeds admiration and goes hand-in-hand with success.
– The best way to retaliate against criticism is to keep succeeding.
– Customer service is the wrong target, increasing customers is the right target. You will
have good customer service and that is why you’re having more customers, but
customer service is not the goal.
– Brands that get the job done do not talk about customer service, they talk about
customer acquisition and just have customer service. You have to get married before
you can make your wife happy – you have to get customers before you could make
them happy.
– You will not get the quality without seeking quantity.
– When criticized, many people spend most of their effort retaliating and thinking about
others and their criticism, but instead use all of your efforts to push forward and do
more.
– Real success is measured by longevity.
– None of the excuses that we use will help us, so quit using them.
– No excuse exist that can or cannot make you successful.
– Characteristics of successful people:
1. Have a can-do-it attitude – You must believe and convey that a solution
does exist even if you have to work harder to get it.
2. Believe that you will figure it out – even if you do not know how to do it,
the best answer is not “I’m not sure” but “I will figure it out”. This is not
mean that you know everything, but that you are willing to try to figure it
out.
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3. Successful people focus on opportunity – normal people will see the
problems, but successful people will see the opportunities coming their
way. Remember that success is overcoming a challenge. You cannot
succeed without overcoming challenges.
4. Successful people love challenges – whereas most people are scared
of them, successful people are innovative and charged by the
challenges. Challenges are the instruments used to sharpen successful
people’s abilities. See the challenges as a stipulation to engage instead
of a problem to avoid.
5. Successful people seek to solve problems – they seek out a problem
so that they can solve them. The world is full of people that have
problems but what separates the successful people from the normal is
that the successful people solve problems instead of creating them.
6. Successful people persists – to continue, be steadfast and firm in hard
times is a characteristic that successful people have.
7. Take risks – too many of us are taught to play it safe and do not risk.
The successful are willing to go all out, play their whole hand and not
hold back knowing that if it doesn’t go well, they can do it again.
8. Be unreasonable – most people are taught to be reasonable and
logical, but we will not get far that way. Successful people know that
that they cannot afford to act according to the average and reasonable
level that everyone approves. We would not have airplanes, vehicles,
space shuttles, computers and so much more if the people that
invented them tried to be “reasonable” with everyone else.
9. Be dangerous – so many people are living a life to avoid danger so
much that they don’t even really live their lives. They do more harm
trying to stay than if they would live dangerously. To go big, you cannot
be afraid of danger.
10. Create wealth – successful people generate wealth. Consider how they
have many properties that create wealth for them.
11. Readily take action – most people talk about a plan of action but never
get around to it, successful people make a plan and then work it. Action
is not a talent, it is a decision that successful people make.
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12. Always say yes – to go forward create action to be successful, you
have to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. Don’t say no
unless you have to. Although there are times to say no, most people
don’t say yes enough to ever see anything happen.
13. Eventually commit – commitment is one of those things in which there
is a great shortage. Don’t test the waters, jump all the way in.
Commitment is devoting oneself totally to an action. It is better to
commit them to be educated than not be committed. Commit as though
you’re already successful and you eventually will be.
14. Go all the way – going halfway avails no results. Until an action is
turned into success, it is not really done.
15. Focus on now – there are only two places on which a successful
person can focus, the now and the future. You will be amazed at how
much you can get done if you will quit analyzing, procrastinating and
excuse making and just start now. Action is necessary and there is no
more important time than right now.
16. Demonstrate courage – soldiers and firemen have fear, but they just
act on courage as it is if it is their duty. Act with a sense of confidence
and courage, some may even call it a touch of arrogance. Courage
comes to those that act, not wait or think about it. Courage is only
obtained by doing.
17. Embrace change – you cannot be successful by keeping everything the
same. Successful people look at how the world is changing, seek to
improve and evaluate, making changes where needed.
18. Determine to take the right approach – successful people are willing to
spend money, time and effort to better in an area where unsuccessful
people do not want to spend anything.
19. Challenge traditions – successful people go against the flow and
challenge the norm that has always been set. They break that which
has always worked in order to get to what works better. Successful
people are not interested in how things have always been done, they
want to find the better way. They don’t make change just for change
sake, they do it to have newer, better and more effective products.
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20. Be goal oriented – a goal is something that needs to be achieved in
order to arrive at a certain destination. If you do not spend time making
goals, you will spend your life completing or fulfilling the goals of others
instead of your own.
21. Be on a mission – successful people do not just work a job, they are on
a mission. Make every phone call, do every little task and spend every
day as if you are on a mission, that you have a special calling to do
what you are doing.
22. Have a high level of motivation – unsuccessful people have low
motivation, clarity and purpose whereas the successful full person is
motivated. Anything that you can do to stay highly motivated is critical
to your 10 X action.
23. Value results – unsuccessful people focus on the work, effort and time
even if they did not see results, but successful people focus on the
results instead of the effort and time. Quit prematurely patting your
back for just trying, and value results. Results, not efforts, should be
the focus of what you’re doing.
24. Have big dreams and big goals – leave the normal and reasonable
dreams for the average people to fight over, go after the big monstrous
dreams and goals. Trivial dreams will cause you to compete with
millions of people, but dream bigger and set higher goals. Surround
yourself with everything that you can that will help you dream bigger,
achieve bigger and think bigger.
25. Create reality – the highly successful people do not live in the reality of
others, they create their own reality. Success is achieved by those who
do not except what everybody else says, they creates their own reality.
26. Commit first and figure out the details later – most think that they have
to figure everything out first, but just commit and then figure it out.
While most people figure things out, others pass them by. So just
commit and take action and figure it out along the way instead of
waiting. Creativity follows commitment. It’s not always the smartest that
win in life, but those that are passionately willing to commit to things I
get the job done.
9 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
27. Be highly ethical – a one dollar criminal is just as bad as a million-dollar
criminal, so don’t lie and cheat even at the top. It is also unethical to
not work with all your might.
28. Be interested in the group – you can only do as much as those around
you. Put those around you and those on your team to succeed as well
because they will succeed when you do.
29. Be committed to growing – successful people read an average of 60
bucks a year while average people read less than one book a year.
Successful people make time for reading, learning and educating
themselves. Successful people know their health, wealth and future
depend on their own personal growth.
30. Get uncomfortable – successful people are willing to put themselves in
a position of being uncomfortable to get where they want but
unsuccessful people seek comfort. Discomfort is an indicator of where
you have to go, you want to be uncomfortable. Be willing to be
uncomfortable to attain success.
31. Reach up in relationships – successful people do not obtain success by
surrounding themselves with people just like them, they find smarter,
better and motivated people to put around them. Average people spend
time with like-minded people, those they are comfortable with. Reach
up, never sideways and never down. The people who you surround
yourself with have much to do with if you’re going to achieve your goals
or not. Black belts do not achieve their accomplishments by spending
time with white belts.
32. Be disciplined – discipline is required to achieve any desired
accomplishment.
– Successful people embrace fear and discomfort.
– Emotions are overrated, just commit and do something.
– Don’t think about what others say or what happened in the past, focus on the
future. People spend too much time discouraging their own selves and talking
them selves out of why it can’t be done.
10 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– It’s not about intelligence, economics or who you know because all of that
without 10 X thinking and 10 X actions will get you nowhere.
– Success is not a choice or option, it is your duty, obligation and responsibility.
11 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone

50 Self-Help Classics

50
by Tom Butler-Bowdon
(I do not think this was that great of a book, especially for getting the 50 different
view points. Nevertheless here are a few of the better thoughts from it).
– You can alter your life by altering your attitude.
– Anyone can get a job, but do you have a purpose?
– Noble thoughts make a noble person and negative thoughts make a miserable
person.
– A person is what he thinks about all day long.
– You could change your world by changing your mind.
– We may have to undo video of the things that we learned up to now in life.
– Don’t sweat the small stuff. Most of the things that we worry about at no impact it will
not be remembered by this time next year.
– If we try to get friends only for what we can get out of them, that is not true friendship.
– The ability to handle people well is more important than other abilities.
– People skills can and should be learned.
– If you want to be blessed, blessed other people.
1 50 Self-Help Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon

52 Things Kids Need from a Dad

52 kids
by Jay Payleitner
– If you spend time with your kids now, they will spend time with you later.
– Proverbs 17:6
– Children are born with the deficit that only father can fill.
– Kids need their dads to beat the odds (drug use, sex, confusion, lying, etc.), all of
which can be reduced if dads are doing their jobs at home.
– A father’s absence in the home is connected with so many negative things (future and
present)… So a father’s presence at home can avoid much bad.
– Kids need their dads to stop and make memories.
– Never miss an opportunity to make a memory.
– A man’s memory is powerful, so stop make memories.
– A kid should know that there’s always a hug waiting for him/her.
– Tuck in your kids every night.
– Practice persistent parenting; be there for your children every day.
– Teach your children to be optimist instead of pessimist; to make lemonade with the
lemons. Use setbacks in life to teach your children how to have a good attitude and
get through it instead of get mad at it.
– Your kids are always watching, so look for a way to turn the negative into a positive.
– Start a file folder for each one of your children – keeping notes, drawings and other
things for each one of them. We cannot remember everything, but if we keep a file on
items from our children, they make for good memories later on down the road.
– Take time to stand over the bed and pray for them while they are sleeping. There is
power in the prayers of a father.
– We must be right with God in order to be most effective with our children.
1 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Don’t lie to your kids just to make your own life easier. Hypocrisy and lies build up
walls but truth and honesty tear down walls.
– If something is important to your kids, make it important to you.
– Know where your kids are, who their best friends are and what’s going on in their
lives. Both social media, what they read and in every day life.
– Answer their questions with a question to teach them and make them think. They
need to learn to think, so teach them. Make questions into conversations.
– Make family traditions — for Christmas, easter, summer, etc.
– A home is to be lived in so don’t go crazy over something getting broke, getting dirty,
messing up the grass, etc… most important thing is your kids, not the material things.
– Make your home a place other kids want to be at.
– Parenting is hard work but it can bring reward 10 fold.
– Sometimes splurging is good
– If a son or daughter turns their back on you, don’t turn your back on them.
– All kids need to feel, see and hear the words I love you. As dads, we love our children
so much that we cannot imagine that they would doubt it, but they need to be affirmed
that we love them.
– Whatever your kid is involved in, be involved in as well.
– Kids need their dads to be their greatest cheerleader.
– Often times the best way to encourage your kids is not with words – a smile, thumbs
up, and shake, hug, etc.
– Kids need their dad to throw away the porn.
– Stop and reflect before opening your mouth. If your child is rejoicing, rejoice with him/
her instead of saying they could do better; be careful before you get on them or react
in a way inappropriate. Think before you speak because your words carry a lot of
weight.
– Proverbs 25:11 – a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
– Choose your words carefully and polish them before you say them.
2 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Accidents happen so don’t make a big deal out of it. If your kids spilled something,
start cleaning it up but don’t yell about it. We want our kids to know that if something
bad happens, dad can fix it and make it better. If you rage every time something
happens, your kids will not want to tell you when something bad happens and you will
not be able to help them.
– Parents are already superheroes, they just need to act like it.
– Hold high standards with your children, appropriate dress, etc.
– Be careful about giving ultimatums – what happens if you say “no tattoos or you will
be kicked out of the house” and then your child gets a tattoo?
– Show your children how bad decisions result in bad consequences.
– Your children are a gift from God and God has equipped you to teach them and give
them exactly what they need for life.
– As parents, we are so busy in life that many times we lose the joy of raising our
children.
– Have a daddy daughter date night. And when you go, don’t be busy on your phone,
talking to other people or thinking about other things, give your full attention to your
daughter.
– A daughter needs a daddy dance with her, talk with her, and tell her you love her.
– A son needs a dad who will spar with him. Physically and maybe even literally a son
should have a sparring partner – he needs to know how to protect, love his family and
wife, be a gentleman, play sports, be tough, etc.
– Kids need their dad to set some ground rules at home.
– Be aware of what your kids deal with before they are ever mentioned or before they
ever become a problem. To stay one step ahead of your kids, you need to spend time
with them and know what is going on in their little minds.
– Put important days/events on your calendar to schedule it and also to show your
children who they are what they do is important to you.
– The most well known Bible verse on parenting deals with anticipatory parenting
(Proverbs 22:6 – train up a child in the way you should go and when he is old he will
not depart from it). Teach your children to stay sexually pure before they go on their
first date. Teach your children to abstain from alcohol and drugs before they are
3 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
presented with it. Teach your children how to drive before they ever get behind the
wheel. Teach your children about God and eternity before they are old.
– What can you help your kids do today in order to help them succeed tomorrow.
– Turn learning into a game.
– Kids need to know that you love your wife, there mom, and that you are committed to
a lifelong relationship. Most of the kisses they will see on TV are unmarried people
but they need to know that you could be committed for life to be/stay in love.
– One of the best things that dad can do for their kids is love his wife.
– Kids need their dad to respect their mom. Respect, common courtesy and
communication are the basics that every husband should have with his wife.
– Kids need their dad to equip them for life without them. Yes, model the right attitude
and decision patterns, but as they grow older you have to teach them and turn it over
to God. God provides many methods for decision-making (the Bible, Christian
leaders, their mother, etc.) so you must realize you’re not the only one who can make
decisions for them, but you have to help them so they can learn how to make
decisions. We are to prepare them for life, when we are out of their every day life.
– One of the greatest legacies you can leave for your children is love. If your kids get a
bad grade, love them; if they get into trouble, love them; if they don’t do what you wish
they would do, love them. Yes, discipline them, teach them, and help them, but don’t
forget to love them. Make sure they know you love them for who they are, not for
what they do.
4 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner

52 Things Wives Need from their Husbands

52
by Jay Payleitner
– Never suggest or think that marriage is a 50-50 proposition. We are a team, we share
and console, we help, give and receive. Marriage is 100-100.
– Wives need their husbands to kiss them.
– Thinking about what your bride likes will strengthen your marriage.
– Think about, study and know what your wife likes and then make it happen.
– A wise husband will make a list of the things that his wife likes and update it regularly.
Then every week try to get or do one of the things that she likes.
– Wives need their husbands to leave so that they can cleave. You cannot hold onto
your mother and family and still try to cleave to your wife.
– The family that you came from is not as important as the family that you have.
– While a guy can be ready for sex in matter of seconds, a woman can’t be derailed
from sex in a matter of seconds. So learn to put distractions out of the way: a lock on
the door, kids laid down or busy, music on, phone off, etc.
– Never go to bed bad, it’s better to stay up and fight.
– If you believe what the comedians and other say about marriage (that it is either a
prison or battleground) than you really deserve what you have.
– You might not always get what you want, but you get what you expect – Charles
Spurgeon
– Challenge yourself to go several days without saying anything mean or negative to
your wife. Better yet, try to say something nice to your wife every day for a week.
– You as the husband need to read the verses before and after Ephesians 5:22.
– Your wife needs you to take the leadership role, but she need you to lead in love.
1 52 Tings Wives Need fom teir Husbands by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– We are quick to say that we would take a bullet for our wife, but that will probably
never happen. She doesn’t need you to take a bullet, she needs you to sacrificially
love her – that means putting her needs before yours.
– Wives need their husbands to ask forgiveness in a tone that says they really mean it.
– Asking forgiveness and giving forgiveness is what Christians do, because we have a
great teacher: Jesus.
– Protect your marriage by not keeping secrets or having a relationship with other
women besides your wife.
– Incest on your wife’s input, you would likely be helped by it.
– Wives need their husbands to be the pastor of their home. Just be the best Christian
that you can be, and your wife and children will be encouraged to be the best
Christians as well. Do, then model, then teach.
– Agree on what you will spend money on – finances cause big problems in marriage.
Give the God, be generous, don’t go in debt, save,…
– Wives need their husbands to only have eyes for her.
– The world’s concept is that you can look but not touch, but Jesus said looking is
adultery as well. You must let your wife be the point of your fantasy, no one else. Your
bride is the most beautiful woman in the world, so start acting like it, believing it and
seeing it.
– Your wife is as beautiful as you see her. Beauty is more in the mind than it is the eyes.
– Don’t be afraid to be a family man, it brings some of the greatest joys. We are
pressured to believe that masculinity is taken away when we have a minivan and help
our kids, but that is so far from the truth.
– One of the reasons that we have our wives is to keep us accountable.
– You lose almost every time you go into a rage. Proverbs 14:17
– Have love in your marriage that is intentional, sacrificial and continual.
– Work on the areas that you are weak in – you need help from your wife and your
Creator. You can and should have a plan to work on areas.
– It takes real strength to be gentle.
– Learn to be smart and overlook things.
2 52 Tings Wives Need fom teir Husbands by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– Surrendering to your wife’s request is usually a very smart move to make.
– Your wife need you to be a father to the children. She automatically has a bond to the
children because of caring them and birthing them, but too many fathers are absent in
the children’s lives.
– Your wife needs you to stay away from flirting with anybody but her.
– Your children will have a much greater chance of getting married and staying married
if you will work through your problems and stay married instead of getting divorced.
– If something is on the honey-do list, be a honey and do it.
– Your wife needs you as the husband to put her second, making God first in marriage
as well as your own life. If you love and follow God, He will teach you how to be the
best husband, father and man – and that’s what your wife and your family needs.
– With God, your marriage is stronger. Ecclesiastes 4:12.
– Your wife need you to repudiate porn. It is not enough to just turn away from, you
must turn to the Lord. He’s the only one who can help you and give victory in this
seductive world. If your eye causes you to fall, gouge it out and don’t let it make you
fall. Matthew 18:9.
– Kiss your wife. Do it in public, in front of your kids and frequently. Hold her and look in
her before you kiss her telling her that you love her, but do make sure you kiss her.
Kiss her unselfishly, not only when you want sex.
– The thought of giving is more valuable than the gift. Think of your wife and get her
something.
– Understand that there will come a time when you fade out in your love, but keep
loving. Every good sports player and coach knows the importance of going back to
the basics. So go back to doing the basics in marriage: doing things friends do, doing
things lovers do, going on walks, etc. Falling in love is fantastic, but staying in love is
even better.
– You can make your wife looks beautiful – to others, to you and to herself. Tell her and
see her through eyes that believes she is beautiful. If you see your wife as beautiful,
she is!
3 52 Tings Wives Need fom teir Husbands by Jay Payleitner

Adoniram Judson, Bound for Burma

judson
by Janet and Geoff Benge
– Began reading at three years old.
– Very intelligent young man, top of this class.
– Arrived to college at age 16. Finished college in three years instead of four – upon
taking his entrance test, he was able to skip his freshman year because he was so
intelligent.
– He had to drop out of school for a while to work and get money, but went back and
made up the classes and still finished as valedictorian.
– Became a deist because of a rich friend. It saddened his parents but he thought he
was so intelligent that he could explain everything.
– One day he went to his uncles house and met a young preacher and he said that the
preacher did not have all the intellectual answers, but had something that he, Judson,
did not have.
– He got his horse and started traveling west and when he came to a hotel, he stayed
in a room with a young man that was dying on the other side of a hung-sheet that
divided the room. He could not sleep that night because of the groans and began to
wonder what was going to happen to that young man. He thought about death,
eternity, ghosts, and dreamed about skeletons dancing on the grave. He thought how
his diest friend would mock him for just having those thoughts. He woke up the next
morning and found out that the young man next to his room died. Come to find out it
was that same deist friend that had let him astray. It shook him to his core.
– He got on track for the Lord and went to another college. God began to get a hold of
his heart.
– He checked out a small booklet from the library that talked about the need around the
world and he believed God was calling him to missions.
1 Adoniram Judson, Bound for Burma by Janet and Geoff Benge Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
– The director of that seminary offered to him the position of assistant pastor at the
largest church in all of New England. He rejected it because he said God wanted him
to be a missionary.
– He along with four other men banded together to take the Gospel to those around the
world. They did not have funds so him and another friend traveled to London to ask
the London missionary Society if they would support the five Americans to go as
missionaries.
– He met Ann, later to become his wife, at a church and began corresponding with her.
She wanted Judson to talk to her dad, who was a deacon, and soon Judson wrote a
letter to her parents telling them if she marries him, they may never see her again.
They agreed and soon Judson married Ann.
– On their way to India, Judson was studying and became convinced that baptism was
by immersion and not sprinkling. So he was baptized and became a Baptist.
– Multiple times the East India Company tried to not let Judson stay as a missionary,
but he was persistent and got on the boat heading to Burma.
– Their first baby was born dead.
– At different times they found favor in the eyes of the government officials and we’re
protected.
– When Britain fought against Burma, he was arrested and taken to jail as a spy. He
was beaten, mistreated and for over a year every night they chained him up and his
feet were lifted off the ground, only leaving his head and shoulders on the ground at
night.
– His wife buried his translation of the Bible that he had been working on for years b/c
she knew it would decay so she put it into a lumpy pillow and took it to Adoniram in
jail.
– He stayed in jail for a long time until the war ended. The government needed to
translate the British agreement to end the war and the only people that could translate
was Judson and his friends that were in jail.
– After they were taken out of jail, Judson was nervous about his Bible translation,
believing that he had lost it. Come to find out, the guards found his pillow and threw it
out because it was so nasty. Judson’s first convert just happened to be passing by
that prison and saw the old pillow thrown in the street. Knowing the pillow belonged to
2 Adoniram Judson, Bound for Burma by Janet and Geoff Benge Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush
Judson, he took it to him and the translation work was saved. God’s amazing
sovereignty!
– His wife died and sometime after he married a missionary wife whose husband died a
few years earlier. They had a couple of children together and then were to travel back
to the United States for a time. She died, leaving Judson a widower once again.
– Judson became ill and was told to take a trip at sea to get better. As he was on the
ship, he had nothing to read so a man on the ship gave him a book to read. Judson
began to read it and said he very much liked the style of the author. Judson said he
would like to meet her and the owner of the book laughed, saying that could be
arranged since the author just happened to be staying at his house. Judson met her
and after corresponding for a time, they married. She was 30 years old and Judson
was 54 or 57 years old. They married and went back to Burma together.
3 Adoniram Judson, Bound for Burma by Janet and Geoff Benge