7 Ways to be Her Hero

by Doug Fields

– Any guy can fall in love, but it takes something special to stay in love.

– Ecclesiastes 2:11 — chasing the wind. A man may not be having an affair with

another woman but if he is in love with this laptop, job, phone and technology, he is

chasing the wind and his marriage will never get better.

– There’s only one thing that God says that a man is to “be one” with and that is not his

job, career, etc., it’s his wife. If a man is chasing anything else besides his wife, he’s

chasing the wind.

– Remember the days when you were dating and you chased your wife and always

wanted to be with her, give her gifts, put on cologne, act romantic, etc.? Well we have

to return to those days at chase our wives again.

– Marriage was not mans idea at all, it was God’s idea. Sex was created by God. The

Bible is not at all quiet about sex.

– One heart. In marriage, when you wound 1 heart, you are really wounding 2 — hers

and yours. Imagine a rifle in which the barrel doubles back around. That is exactly

what is happening to our relationships when we try to hurt our wives weather verbally,

emotionally, etc.

– Your responsibility as a husband is to identify what baggage may have in her life

(stress, anger, problems, etc.) and help her remove it.

– Don’t just help your wife because you want more sex, help her because she has the

other half of your heart.

1. Don’t Say Everything you Think.

– Making hurtful or mean spirited comments will not help anything.

– It may be hard to not say things that you’re thinking, but it is even harder when

you are tired, discouraged, frustrated, etc.

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– Proverbs 17:28 — “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and

he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”

– Proverbs 10:19 — “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that

refraineth his lips is wise.”

– It does not have to be verbal communication that could harm our wives –

shrugging shoulders, moving head, rolling eyes, etc.

– Proverbs 20:3

– Proverbs 21:23 – Hold your tongue. You can save a lot of grief by simply holding

your tongue and not saying anything.

– Almost anything can be said and handled if you’ll just state it in a genuinely,

loving way and in a timely sort.

– You do not have to make a big deal out of every little thing.

2. Say what is Powerful.

– Sadly we say what we should not say do not say what we should say.

– Destructive words destroy marriages and healthy words build marriages.

– A man’s number one need may be sex, but a woman’s number one need is

unconditional love. Vocalizing your love with words is so important.

– Think of your words like little gifts rolling out of your mouth – we might not be the

best with buying gifts, but using the right words are gifts.

– The right words at the right time in the right way go right to your wife’s spirit.

– Your wife needs affirmation and it is within your power to give it to her.

– If you think something positive, say it.

– Set a reminder if you have to, to remind you to say something nice to your wife

every day, until it becomes a habit.

– Text your wife whenever you think about her. Remember that a compliment does

not only have to be verbal.

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– When you have a thought, write it down – it doesn’t have to be a long letter, just

write a little note and tell her what you’re thinking. Put it in her car, put it in her

drawer, put it in the fridge or wherever she will see it.

– Your wife must know that she is the only one who can fulfill your physical love.

– Don’t give up, stay in the battle. No one else can fulfill your physical but your wife

and if you do not realize this, you will think that masturbation, or pornography or

an affair will be ok.

3. Don’t Say Anything – Learn to be a World-Class Listener.

– You might not think that your communication with your wife is that important, but

she does think it is. In fact, becoming a good listener could be the reason that

you’re not having as much sex.

– To many women, a good listener is sexy.

– Listening is like foreplay for a woman.

– Men like to dominate so therefore we do the talking and never listen – big

mistake.

– No one is interested in being in a relationship with a world-class talker.

– James 1:19 — “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear,

slow to speak, slow to wrath”

– Your body language speaks just as loud, if not louder, than your verbal language.

So make sure when you’re listening, that you do not appear that you don’t want

to be there or that you’re disinterested.

– You may think that you are a great listener, but if she does not think that then it

really does not matter. You better make sure that it comes across that she

believes you are a good listener.

4. Go Big with Small Things.

– It’s the small things that can make a marriage better – not the big leaps and

changes.

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– Getting off by just 1° later down the road could make it where you are on totally

separate solar systems.

– Serving your wife at the very small areas will add up and pay off.

– The big acts that we think about like buying her a car, taking her on a trip, etc.,

do not require us to serve her, but the little things do. Turning off the light for her,

getting her a drink, helping her out with something, etc. are all small things but

very key.

– You can put your marriage back on course if you will learn to master the little

things.

– Doing the small things, just once a day, will become a habit and your marriage

will improve.

– You will be more like Jesus when you serve. He did not come to this world to be

served but to serve.

– Serve her like you would serve Jesus.

– If you asked yourself on your way home from work what it would look like to

serve your wife and serve Jesus, what would that look like when you got home…

What could you do for her?

5. Be Liberal with Touch but not That Way.

– There is such a thing called touch that is not sexual.

– There is such a thing called skin hunger, being deprived of touch.

– Hug your wife without having a sexual agenda.

– A man who provides his wife with nonsexual touch will usually end up getting

more sex than the husband who does not give nonsexual touch.

– Science proves to us that if a baby does not get enough touch in the first couple

of years of their life, negative consequences could happen.

– Your wife needs your touch – a kiss on the cheek, a massage, hand on shoulder,

holding hands, touching her arm, etc.

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– If your wife’s skin hunger is being starved, than both your sex life and marriage

will be affected by it.

– Pornography is artificial sex – it’s like filling yourself with junk food when God has

a banquet awaiting you.

– If you will begin to fulfill your wife’s skin hunger, you will not regret it.

6. Put your Pride Aside. – God wants to clean up our heart, change things and make us like to His image.

– The hardest thing to get rid of and cleanup is our pride.

– Pride causes us to blame and destroys more marriages than infidelity.

– Pride leads to disgrace – Proverbs 11:2

– Pride destroys – Proverbs 29:23

– When we allow God to circumcise the pride out of our life, it can be painful but

will save our marriage.

– Humility has nothing to do with weakness. Humility is actually strength to

recognize that God is God.

– Humility is strong enough to keep its mouth shut. Humility will build up your wife

with words instead of eating the words itself. Humility is willing to ask questions.

Humility is willing to listen without having to rush back. Humility is willing to say I

am sorry and I was wrong.

– Recognize your mistakes, ask forgiveness for them, remove them and forget

them.

7. Shepherd your Wife’s Heart. – We must learn to shepherd our own hearts and then that of our wife’s.

– A shepherd watches his flock, cares for them and watches out for bad wolves.

– We need to learn to shepherd our wife’s heart and that is not easy, it will take

time.

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– She is more than worthy of the effort, after all that is why I married her.

– Her heart is so much more tender and sensitive than mine.

– Shepherd her heart because God wants to see her blossom through you helping

her.

– To shepherd her heart, it requires diligence and attention.

– Tell her often who she is. Beliefs shape our behavior. If we were ever told that we

are good for nothing, we begin to believe it and it hurt us. If we don’t think we are

anything, we will begin to believe a lie and not take care of ourselves. And

women are some of the most lied to people on this planet – they are told that

they have to be skinny, have high cheekbones, etc. The message is often loud

and clear that a woman does not measure up. She must be told and reminded

who she is.

– Tell her daily that you love her, that she is special, that you’re happy to be

married to her, etc.

– Let her know that she is excepted and loved by you.

– She should be accepted to you as you are to Jesus. She should be able to look

into your eyes and know that she has been accepted by you.

– A husband can form his wife’s self image for the positive by always affirming her

and telling her how special she is.

– A man can never be a good groom to his wife until he has been a good bride to

Jesus.

– Your intimacy with Jesus will affect your relationship with your wife.

– Women need to know that they are beautiful, but they need to know about their

heart as well – tell her how you love her more than just her physical beauty.

– Be the man that she can respect. Get help and stay away from pornography.

– Be her friend. How about some walks together or some kind of activities both of

you can do together. Time to bring friendship back into the relationship.

– Your wife may not treat you the way you think you should be treated even if you

shepherd her heart, but shepherd her heart with the right motive and after time

you will be greatly rewarded.

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– There’s no joy or no job as great as shepherding our wives.

Love:

– Love her as Christ loved the church – Ephesians 5:25

– We are to think of our wives before we think of ourselves.

– Any hero understands that sacrifices need it the most married man will sacrifice for

their wife and children. But sacrifice is not the only thing that is needed, we cannot

keep silent. You must speak up and fix things and marriage. Loving your wife as

Christ loved the church does not mean silence, it means getting things right. Get

professional counseling if that’s what’s needed. If you do not speak up, you will one

day regret it.

Time:

– Everyone is busy (raising children, keeping a job, upkeep of the house, etc.) but the

problem with a busy life is that it makes for a busy marriage… which can lead to a

empty marriage.

– Busyness does not kill a marriage, but it weakens you and as a result you can kill

your marriage.

– Some of us are so over-connected with others (via social media), that we are under-
connected with the ones we love the most (actually communicating with them).

– You must pause and take the time. If you are always busy, there will never be enough

time and you will never come around to it.

– Don’t be a drive-by husband, actually take time for and to be with each other.

– Hurry runs but love walks.

– You could be so much in a hurry and rush through life that you never take the time to

stop and ask each other how you’re doing and how you can improve your marriage.

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– Your wife and marriage are worth the effort, so chase her.

– Experience one with your wife why is God’s goal in your marriage.

– Becoming a good husband is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

8 7 Ways t be her Hero by Doug Fields

10% Happier

by Dan Harris

– The voice in our head can become very annoying. Many people may not even realize

they have a voice in their head. We are not talking about hearing voices, we are

talking about the narrator in our head, that intimate chatter from the time we open our

eyes in the morning.

– Our happiness, shyness, skills, etc. is not determined at birth like many think, they are

learned and acquired skills.

– It is possible to be depressed without even realizing it since your emotions have been

cut off.

– Let the present moment be your friend instead of your enemy. Let it be what it is

instead of an obstacle that you must overcome.

– Mindfulness is the ability to recognize what’s going on while still thinking

– RAIN

Recognize

Allow

Investigate (why is it happening)

Noting

– Respond don’t react

– We believe the lie that we’ll be happy when we finish or do the next thing.

– Do only one thing at a time

– Do something that relaxes and distracts you.

– A research showed that compassionate people are more content and happier than

others.

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– Complaining will make you feel bad.

– When you are mindful of others you will be more sensitive to others.

– Not letting your mind get locked in negativity will greatly better you.

– Don’t think everyone is out to get you.

– Humility prevents humiliation.

– Don’t be attached to results.

– Respond instead of react to your urges.

– There’s no point in being unhappy about things that you cannot change… or about

things you can change.

– Don’t force it.

– Be firm but be kind.

– Your happiness can be self generated.

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The 10 X Rule

by Grant Cardone

– It takes the same amount of energy to have a great marriage as it does to have an

average marriage. It take the same amount of energy to make $10 million as it does

to make $10,000.

– If you will try 10 times as hard, do 10 times as much and put forth 10 times the effort,

you will outdo everyone.

– You have to take it to another level to get to the next level.

– The people who work successful in any area are people who continue even after they

have reached an achievement. A good marriage does not maintain itself, it has to be

worked on… And so does every other area of life.

– You must set goals that are 10 times what you want and then work 10 times as hard

to achieve those goals.

– You must never do what others do, you have to do what others do not do. Take action

and do 10 times as much, working 10 times as hard as anyone else.

– A bad concept is thinking that you will get discouraged if you set too high of goals, but

too often we set low goals and reach them instead of setting super high goals and not

reaching them.

– We are told not to set unrealistic goals, but wouldn’t it be better to come short on a 10

times goal than it would be to not set a goal? If you set high goals, you will put more

effort into them than if you set low goals.

– It’s not enough to just have occupied territory, you must keep the territory.

– The right acts done in the right degree, persisting overtime, will get the job done.

– Assume that every project that you’re going to do will take more time, more effort and

more people to accomplish than you first plan.

– Everything will be more difficult and require more effort than you think – this is not to

discourage but so that you’ll plan. Work 10 times as hard in every area and you will

get it accomplished.

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– Approach every situation with a in-it-to-win-it mentality.

– No one acquires anything by failure.

– You do not need to be old to die – many people in their 20s, they just give up in life

and accomplish nothing, they live without a purpose, focus and aim in life.

– You must consider your duty to live up to your full potential, not just get by. Success

must not be an alternative or option, it must be an obligation and vital in your life.

– Most look at successful people & think they are just lucky, but they have worked hard

to get there and then their success breeds more success. Get in a position of success

and more success will be like an air around you.

– The harder you work, the more you’ll get. Plan on success and then work for it. You

become a magnet for success when you see it as your duty.

– There is no such thing as overnight success. Success always comes as a result of

beforehand effort.

– Success is something that people make. There’s no shortage on the amount of

success that you can have, it is not in a low supply.

– Success, money, jobs and opportunities are not in a dearth, they are out there in

abundance if you will go after them.

– Success has no limits, is not short supply or given only to a handful, it’s for anybody

that wants to work for it.

– There is no shortage of success, but there is a shortage of determination and work to

attain success.

– People who succeed take big actions, which means they take big responsibilities,

which means they don’t make excuses.

– Making excuses is thinking negative.

– Victims always have bad things happen to them and it’s never their fault. Successful

people have good things happen to them as a result of the responsibility that they

take.

– Nothing happens to you, it happens because of you.

– You can either do nothing, retreat, do very little (normal levels) or take massive action.

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• 1. Doing nothing – just what it says, not learning, growing, not taking action. This

requires no work or no action. Boredom, lethargic, lazy, etc. it actually takes energy

to do nothing and try not to move forward.

• 2. Retreat – take action in reverse. They go backwards because they are scared, “I

don’t want anything bad to happen”. Retreating is not normal behavior, usually

comes from being told to do it over and over and then becomes a survival instinct.

• 3. Average, normal, very little – this is what the majority do, this is why we have

largest part of the population being middle class (not financial but the way they

think). The goal is average; average bill, average marriage, average finances,

average life. The definition of average means less extraordinary. Average is nothing

more than retreating from what you’re capable of. Average is the most dangerous

area to be in. You’re capable of so much more.

• 4. Massive action – no one was born into average just to do nothing, we were born

into massive action. Look at children, always doing something and always taking

action… and until adults tells them to take it down several levels, they do not know

that they are supposed to be boring, average and do very little. People don’t know

you, you are in obscurity, but best of action will change and results will happen.

Successful people do not see massive action as a problem, they see it as normal.

People are going to think that you have went to far, are crazy and have gone nuts

when you begin taking massive action. Massive action cannot hurt you, it will only

help you.

– If you approach every day as a new opportunity and work hard, you will outdo

everyone else.

– Average is a failing formula.

– The average worker reads less than one book a year and works 37.5 hours a week.

– Reason people fail in goals because they do not put goals high enough.

– Your goals change and life goes on, so keep writing them down and keep setting

goals. Don’t set goals only once a year when it’s resolution time, set goals constantly.

– People say be reasonable or realistic, but that’s only means to keep your goals

according to everyone else’s opinion. Shoot high and work hard.

– There is no shortage of success. Set high goals. Setting high goals will require hard

work.

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– Don’t compare or be a normal thinker, be a forward thinker – Steve Jobs would have

never invented the iPad if he was comparing to others. All successful people think

about what they can do instead of comparing to what others are doing.

– Never make it your goal to compete but to dominate the sector that you are working

at. Competition is for sissies, domination is what you want.

– Set the bar, don’t go with what everyone else does. Be ahead of everyone else, don’t

just go with the flow.

– Do what other people will not do. Do you want your competition is not willing to do or

is not doing, this will give you an unfair advantage. Find what people cannot do or will

not do.

– You may have a money shortage, but if you are more creative, work harder and study

more, you will pass everyone.

– Work hard; first you will get no attention, than you get a complaint (which is attention)

than you get admiration (which is positive attention).

– So when you work hard, you will first get complaints, then criticism, then haters, then

admiration.

– Do what people will not do, go where they will not go, think and take actions in 10 X

quantities that others are not willing to take or cannot even comprehend.

– Quit thinking about others and stop competing, you want domination not competition.

– You must have obsession to follow through with your goals. You have to stay

encouraged every day or you will not get it done. If you do not become obsessed with

your idea or goals, you will not get it accomplished.

– Make your dreams, goals and ambitions an obsession.

– The ability to be obsessed is not a disease, it is a gift.

– Most of society teaches against the all-in mentality because we want to play it safe,

we want to be conservative. There are certain things in this world that have limits, but

you do not have limits on yourself – give all of your energy, time, creativity and effort

and get it done.

– You will never hit it out of the park if you don’t swing.

– We have all heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare has the ability and

runs fast but then slows down to rest. The tortoise keeps flooding on and ends up

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winning. The story teaches us just to keep going, but not worry about working hard

and running fast. But what if there was a third character who had the speed of a hare

and the determination of a tortoise – the whole story would be changed.

– Overcommit your creativity, resources, time and persistence in every area.

– Don’t look to avoid problems, look to solve them. Problems will come when you

overcommit, but just find a solution for them.

– Instead of following the pack, lead the pack. Get out there and work hard.

– I would rather die pushing forward than die retreating backwards.

– Your fire has to continue burning hot, which means you must continue stoking the fire,

you must continue with more action than everyone else.

– Success appears to bless those that give it most action than most attention. Like a

garden, you must continue working on it (trimming, hedging, watering, weeding, etc.).

– Build a fire so big and so hot that your competition and everyone else will want to

come sit at the fire to get warmed up.

– Don’t be afraid of fear, use it as a green light signaling to you what you should do.

– Starve your fear from its favorite food, which is time. Don’t give any time to fear.

– The time to act is now, don’t wait more time which will allow fear to grow. Nothing

happens without action.

– Countless individuals fail all of the time because they wait too long to write the email,

make the call or act upon something and someone else gets it. Waiting for more time

just feeds your fear.

– Everyone faces fear, but what we do with that fear determines who we are.

– Use the fear to get things done, don’t wait and give it time or you will be more afraid

and lose. No one is fearless, but successful people just act upon it instead of giving

their fear more time.

– The only way to increase time is do more with the amount of time than you have.

– The 10 X rule gives you more time because you are more than doubling your efforts

with the time you have.

– Log what you do throughout the day and you will be able to cut out time wasting

because you see where you are unprofitable.

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– When you succeed, criticism is not far behind.

– If you make a big enough splash, you will attract criticism.

– Laying low or flying under the radar to avoid attention probably means that you are

holding yourself back in areas.

– The only way to handle criticism is to foresee it as an element to your journey of

success.

– Criticism proceeds admiration and goes hand-in-hand with success.

– The best way to retaliate against criticism is to keep succeeding.

– Customer service is the wrong target, increasing customers is the right target. You will

have good customer service and that is why you’re having more customers, but

customer service is not the goal.

– Brands that get the job done do not talk about customer service, they talk about

customer acquisition and just have customer service. You have to get married before

you can make your wife happy – you have to get customers before you could make

them happy.

– You will not get the quality without seeking quantity.

– When criticized, many people spend most of their effort retaliating and thinking about

others and their criticism, but instead use all of your efforts to push forward and do

more.

– Real success is measured by longevity.

– None of the excuses that we use will help us, so quit using them.

– No excuse exist that can or cannot make you successful.

– Characteristics of successful people:

1. Have a can-do-it attitude – You must believe and convey that a solution

does exist even if you have to work harder to get it.

2. Believe that you will figure it out – even if you do not know how to do it,

the best answer is not “I’m not sure” but “I will figure it out”. This is not

mean that you know everything, but that you are willing to try to figure it

out.

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3. Successful people focus on opportunity – normal people will see the

problems, but successful people will see the opportunities coming their

way. Remember that success is overcoming a challenge. You cannot

succeed without overcoming challenges.

4. Successful people love challenges – whereas most people are scared

of them, successful people are innovative and charged by the

challenges. Challenges are the instruments used to sharpen successful

people’s abilities. See the challenges as a stipulation to engage instead

of a problem to avoid.

5. Successful people seek to solve problems – they seek out a problem

so that they can solve them. The world is full of people that have

problems but what separates the successful people from the normal is

that the successful people solve problems instead of creating them.

6. Successful people persists – to continue, be steadfast and firm in hard

times is a characteristic that successful people have.

7. Take risks – too many of us are taught to play it safe and do not risk.

The successful are willing to go all out, play their whole hand and not

hold back knowing that if it doesn’t go well, they can do it again.

8. Be unreasonable – most people are taught to be reasonable and

logical, but we will not get far that way. Successful people know that

that they cannot afford to act according to the average and reasonable

level that everyone approves. We would not have airplanes, vehicles,

space shuttles, computers and so much more if the people that

invented them tried to be “reasonable” with everyone else.

9. Be dangerous – so many people are living a life to avoid danger so

much that they don’t even really live their lives. They do more harm

trying to stay than if they would live dangerously. To go big, you cannot

be afraid of danger.

10. Create wealth – successful people generate wealth. Consider how they

have many properties that create wealth for them.

11. Readily take action – most people talk about a plan of action but never

get around to it, successful people make a plan and then work it. Action

is not a talent, it is a decision that successful people make.

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12. Always say yes – to go forward create action to be successful, you

have to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. Don’t say no

unless you have to. Although there are times to say no, most people

don’t say yes enough to ever see anything happen.

13. Eventually commit – commitment is one of those things in which there

is a great shortage. Don’t test the waters, jump all the way in.

Commitment is devoting oneself totally to an action. It is better to

commit them to be educated than not be committed. Commit as though

you’re already successful and you eventually will be.

14. Go all the way – going halfway avails no results. Until an action is

turned into success, it is not really done.

15. Focus on now – there are only two places on which a successful

person can focus, the now and the future. You will be amazed at how

much you can get done if you will quit analyzing, procrastinating and

excuse making and just start now. Action is necessary and there is no

more important time than right now.

16. Demonstrate courage – soldiers and firemen have fear, but they just

act on courage as it is if it is their duty. Act with a sense of confidence

and courage, some may even call it a touch of arrogance. Courage

comes to those that act, not wait or think about it. Courage is only

obtained by doing.

17. Embrace change – you cannot be successful by keeping everything the

same. Successful people look at how the world is changing, seek to

improve and evaluate, making changes where needed.

18. Determine to take the right approach – successful people are willing to

spend money, time and effort to better in an area where unsuccessful

people do not want to spend anything.

19. Challenge traditions – successful people go against the flow and

challenge the norm that has always been set. They break that which

has always worked in order to get to what works better. Successful

people are not interested in how things have always been done, they

want to find the better way. They don’t make change just for change

sake, they do it to have newer, better and more effective products.

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20. Be goal oriented – a goal is something that needs to be achieved in

order to arrive at a certain destination. If you do not spend time making

goals, you will spend your life completing or fulfilling the goals of others

instead of your own.

21. Be on a mission – successful people do not just work a job, they are on

a mission. Make every phone call, do every little task and spend every

day as if you are on a mission, that you have a special calling to do

what you are doing.

22. Have a high level of motivation – unsuccessful people have low

motivation, clarity and purpose whereas the successful full person is

motivated. Anything that you can do to stay highly motivated is critical

to your 10 X action.

23. Value results – unsuccessful people focus on the work, effort and time

even if they did not see results, but successful people focus on the

results instead of the effort and time. Quit prematurely patting your

back for just trying, and value results. Results, not efforts, should be

the focus of what you’re doing.

24. Have big dreams and big goals – leave the normal and reasonable

dreams for the average people to fight over, go after the big monstrous

dreams and goals. Trivial dreams will cause you to compete with

millions of people, but dream bigger and set higher goals. Surround

yourself with everything that you can that will help you dream bigger,

achieve bigger and think bigger.

25. Create reality – the highly successful people do not live in the reality of

others, they create their own reality. Success is achieved by those who

do not except what everybody else says, they creates their own reality.

26. Commit first and figure out the details later – most think that they have

to figure everything out first, but just commit and then figure it out.

While most people figure things out, others pass them by. So just

commit and take action and figure it out along the way instead of

waiting. Creativity follows commitment. It’s not always the smartest that

win in life, but those that are passionately willing to commit to things I

get the job done.

9 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush

27. Be highly ethical – a one dollar criminal is just as bad as a million-dollar

criminal, so don’t lie and cheat even at the top. It is also unethical to

not work with all your might.

28. Be interested in the group – you can only do as much as those around

you. Put those around you and those on your team to succeed as well

because they will succeed when you do.

29. Be committed to growing – successful people read an average of 60

bucks a year while average people read less than one book a year.

Successful people make time for reading, learning and educating

themselves. Successful people know their health, wealth and future

depend on their own personal growth.

30. Get uncomfortable – successful people are willing to put themselves in

a position of being uncomfortable to get where they want but

unsuccessful people seek comfort. Discomfort is an indicator of where

you have to go, you want to be uncomfortable. Be willing to be

uncomfortable to attain success.

31. Reach up in relationships – successful people do not obtain success by

surrounding themselves with people just like them, they find smarter,

better and motivated people to put around them. Average people spend

time with like-minded people, those they are comfortable with. Reach

up, never sideways and never down. The people who you surround

yourself with have much to do with if you’re going to achieve your goals

or not. Black belts do not achieve their accomplishments by spending

time with white belts.

32. Be disciplined – discipline is required to achieve any desired

accomplishment.

– Successful people embrace fear and discomfort.

– Emotions are overrated, just commit and do something.

– Don’t think about what others say or what happened in the past, focus on the

future. People spend too much time discouraging their own selves and talking

them selves out of why it can’t be done.

10 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush

– It’s not about intelligence, economics or who you know because all of that

without 10 X thinking and 10 X actions will get you nowhere.

– Success is not a choice or option, it is your duty, obligation and responsibility.

11 Te 10X Rule by Grant Cardone

50 Self-Help Classics

by Tom Butler-Bowdon

(I do not think this was that great of a book, especially for getting the 50 different

view points. Nevertheless here are a few of the better thoughts from it).

– You can alter your life by altering your attitude.

– Anyone can get a job, but do you have a purpose?

– Noble thoughts make a noble person and negative thoughts make a miserable

person.

– A person is what he thinks about all day long.

– You could change your world by changing your mind.

– We may have to undo video of the things that we learned up to now in life.

– Don’t sweat the small stuff. Most of the things that we worry about at no impact it will

not be remembered by this time next year.

– If we try to get friends only for what we can get out of them, that is not true friendship.

– The ability to handle people well is more important than other abilities.

– People skills can and should be learned.

– If you want to be blessed, blessed other people.

1 50 Self-Help Classics by Tom Butler-Bowdon

52 Things Kids Need from a Dad

by Jay Payleitner

– If you spend time with your kids now, they will spend time with you later.

– Proverbs 17:6

– Children are born with the deficit that only father can fill.

– Kids need their dads to beat the odds (drug use, sex, confusion, lying, etc.), all of

which can be reduced if dads are doing their jobs at home.

– A father’s absence in the home is connected with so many negative things (future and

present)… So a father’s presence at home can avoid much bad.

– Kids need their dads to stop and make memories.

– Never miss an opportunity to make a memory.

– A man’s memory is powerful, so stop make memories.

– A kid should know that there’s always a hug waiting for him/her.

– Tuck in your kids every night.

– Practice persistent parenting; be there for your children every day.

– Teach your children to be optimist instead of pessimist; to make lemonade with the

lemons. Use setbacks in life to teach your children how to have a good attitude and

get through it instead of get mad at it.

– Your kids are always watching, so look for a way to turn the negative into a positive.

– Start a file folder for each one of your children – keeping notes, drawings and other

things for each one of them. We cannot remember everything, but if we keep a file on

items from our children, they make for good memories later on down the road.

– Take time to stand over the bed and pray for them while they are sleeping. There is

power in the prayers of a father.

– We must be right with God in order to be most effective with our children.

1 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush

– Don’t lie to your kids just to make your own life easier. Hypocrisy and lies build up

walls but truth and honesty tear down walls.

– If something is important to your kids, make it important to you.

– Know where your kids are, who their best friends are and what’s going on in their

lives. Both social media, what they read and in every day life.

– Answer their questions with a question to teach them and make them think. They

need to learn to think, so teach them. Make questions into conversations.

– Make family traditions — for Christmas, easter, summer, etc.

– A home is to be lived in so don’t go crazy over something getting broke, getting dirty,

messing up the grass, etc… most important thing is your kids, not the material things.

– Make your home a place other kids want to be at.

– Parenting is hard work but it can bring reward 10 fold.

– Sometimes splurging is good

– If a son or daughter turns their back on you, don’t turn your back on them.

– All kids need to feel, see and hear the words I love you. As dads, we love our children

so much that we cannot imagine that they would doubt it, but they need to be affirmed

that we love them.

– Whatever your kid is involved in, be involved in as well.

– Kids need their dads to be their greatest cheerleader.

– Often times the best way to encourage your kids is not with words – a smile, thumbs

up, and shake, hug, etc.

– Kids need their dad to throw away the porn.

– Stop and reflect before opening your mouth. If your child is rejoicing, rejoice with him/

her instead of saying they could do better; be careful before you get on them or react

in a way inappropriate. Think before you speak because your words carry a lot of

weight.

– Proverbs 25:11 – a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.

– Choose your words carefully and polish them before you say them.

2 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush

– Accidents happen so don’t make a big deal out of it. If your kids spilled something,

start cleaning it up but don’t yell about it. We want our kids to know that if something

bad happens, dad can fix it and make it better. If you rage every time something

happens, your kids will not want to tell you when something bad happens and you will

not be able to help them.

– Parents are already superheroes, they just need to act like it.

– Hold high standards with your children, appropriate dress, etc.

– Be careful about giving ultimatums – what happens if you say “no tattoos or you will

be kicked out of the house” and then your child gets a tattoo?

– Show your children how bad decisions result in bad consequences.

– Your children are a gift from God and God has equipped you to teach them and give

them exactly what they need for life.

– As parents, we are so busy in life that many times we lose the joy of raising our

children.

– Have a daddy daughter date night. And when you go, don’t be busy on your phone,

talking to other people or thinking about other things, give your full attention to your

daughter.

– A daughter needs a daddy dance with her, talk with her, and tell her you love her.

– A son needs a dad who will spar with him. Physically and maybe even literally a son

should have a sparring partner – he needs to know how to protect, love his family and

wife, be a gentleman, play sports, be tough, etc.

– Kids need their dad to set some ground rules at home.

– Be aware of what your kids deal with before they are ever mentioned or before they

ever become a problem. To stay one step ahead of your kids, you need to spend time

with them and know what is going on in their little minds.

– Put important days/events on your calendar to schedule it and also to show your

children who they are what they do is important to you.

– The most well known Bible verse on parenting deals with anticipatory parenting

(Proverbs 22:6 – train up a child in the way you should go and when he is old he will

not depart from it). Teach your children to stay sexually pure before they go on their

first date. Teach your children to abstain from alcohol and drugs before they are

3 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner Book Summary by Jeffrey Bush

presented with it. Teach your children how to drive before they ever get behind the

wheel. Teach your children about God and eternity before they are old.

– What can you help your kids do today in order to help them succeed tomorrow.

– Turn learning into a game.

– Kids need to know that you love your wife, there mom, and that you are committed to

a lifelong relationship. Most of the kisses they will see on TV are unmarried people

but they need to know that you could be committed for life to be/stay in love.

– One of the best things that dad can do for their kids is love his wife.

– Kids need their dad to respect their mom. Respect, common courtesy and

communication are the basics that every husband should have with his wife.

– Kids need their dad to equip them for life without them. Yes, model the right attitude

and decision patterns, but as they grow older you have to teach them and turn it over

to God. God provides many methods for decision-making (the Bible, Christian

leaders, their mother, etc.) so you must realize you’re not the only one who can make

decisions for them, but you have to help them so they can learn how to make

decisions. We are to prepare them for life, when we are out of their every day life.

– One of the greatest legacies you can leave for your children is love. If your kids get a

bad grade, love them; if they get into trouble, love them; if they don’t do what you wish

they would do, love them. Yes, discipline them, teach them, and help them, but don’t

forget to love them. Make sure they know you love them for who they are, not for

what they do.

4 52 Tings Kids Need fom a Dad by Jay Payleitner